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Avoiding money squabbles in your relationship

Disputes about money continues to be cited as the number one reason that couples in committed relationships have troubles. Often times these problems could have been avoided if the couples actually talked about money. Only a few subjects really need to be broached by couples to have an effective long term relationship as it relates to money issues.
What is the first step in having a good financial relationship with your significant other?
Every couple should have a discussion about their relationship with money. What I mean by that is they should discuss their life growing up and how much money they had, what their parents discussed with them and what they hope to do different with their money.
Why is this so important?
Often times this will help each person understand why they make certain decisions and what their weaknesses are when it comes to financial matters. Self-awareness helps us understand our attitudes and see other points of view.  If we are a spender and know it, we can work to have savings habits to balance out our free spending ways.
How else can this knowledge be useful?
Because it helps explain each person’s attitude about money, the couple can have a more productive money discussion. For example, if one was very poor growing up that could cause them to have a fear of not having enough money.  This could make them hesitant to spend or even borrow. Knowing this can help the other person address that fear when making these decisions together.
What else should couples discuss?
One of the most important discussion is the “save to spend” amount without consulting the other person. This amount probably changes as they have more money but it should always be addressed. The problem comes when one thinks anything over $100 needs to be discussed and the other one believes the limit is $1,000. That can cause major trust issues and lead to other relationship problems.
How often should couples discuss money?
It depends on each couple but having a money huddle every quarter is a good idea and major planning discussion every 2 – 3 years.  One of the most important aspects of a healthy financial relationship is clear transparency regarding all financial matters. The only way to achieve this is to have regular discussions about money.
What is one of the most common reasons couples have issues regarding money?
Probably one of the most prevalent reasons is that couples don’t view each other as equal partners. Regardless of the financial contribution, both people have to be treated as equal and having the same value in the relationship. Without this equality, there is likely to be financial issues as some point in the relationship.
Can couples avoid money squabbles?
Probably not. Every couple will disagree from time to time about money. The important lesson for couples is that both have to compromise on their views and not let disagreements turn into arguments.  Disagreements can be solved, arguments usually means a winner and loser and that is a long term relationship killer.

Posted: 6/29/2017 with 0 comments

Categories: Finances, Money, Money Matters, Planning, Relationships

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