Are you financially in sync with your partner?

Financially in Sync PDF

Couples, regardless of their relationship stage, should make every attempt to be financially in sync. Money can be a source of stress in a relationship, especially when couples have different views of what a financial relationship should encompass. By focusing on keeping a few promises to each other regarding money matters, you can avoid many of the stresses that other couples might encounter due to financial concerns.

Where should couples start to ensure they are on the same financial page?
The very first step is to be open and honest with all financial matters. Hiding problems or overspending will only lead to issues later in the relationship. Make it an equal partnership both in decision-making and in responsibility for financial matters. It never works if one person has all the power or if one person is completely responsible for all financial decisions. It is also important to trust the other person and not always question their decisions – this means supporting each other in making decisions without consulting each other all the time.

What ongoing financial relationship moves are important?
One of the most important vows to keep is to have regular money talks. It is important to set ground rules about this too. If one person is into spreadsheets, ratios, and minutiae while the other just wants a high-level thumbs up or thumbs down on the current financial situation, there could be a problem. Balance the need to share everything with the need to avoid numbers by creating your own family dashboard that meets both of your needs so you can make sound decisions. Another important vow to keep is to always consider yourselves a team and that the best choices are those that both of you consider good choices. Finally, it is important to promise to respectfully share when one has had a change in financial priorities.

What are good ways to have important money discussions?
Having positive money discussions as a couple can only happen when it is an actual discussion, not a lecture to defend a decision. Each couple will have a different method of discussing; it could be a regular coffee chat or a planned meeting in the home office. Have a regular agenda of topics from how you are doing to where you want to be in 3 to 5 years and how to get there. Most importantly, make sure that your money talks are also focused on fun, from planning small outings to big trips that might be a couple of years in the future.

How can couples make sure they don’t fall into money disagreements?
Start by always sharing your dreams and priorities, which can change for each person in the relationship. Next, always remember that compromise is the best tool to resolve any money conflicts. If one person feels like they're getting the short end of the stick, it can cause hard feelings and make them keep score of every unfairness. Focus on the team and how both of you can live your shared dreams with financial responsibility.